When you are newly married (newly is defined for a term of one year post marriage date), the same old sulking life regains its energy and starts pacing at maximum speed. You remember getting ready for marriage, having some unknown strange fears -inspired by bollywood dramas- waiting for something to go wrong and a line of tension rise and set on parent’s faces. And immediately, within a blink, the day is over, months are passed and years have happily walked by. But the initial days of marriage comes as a surprise package for couples, be it love or arranged marriages. Hence, it becomes crucial to spend the initial days together, to get to know each other better, to realize if the surprise makes you smile or faint in shock. Of course, not to forget, love is at its peak for the newly married (I hope it doesn’t reduce over years, but that is what I have heard) so being with each other not only becomes necessity but also, an instant desire. When all the women, think and dream and drool about these days, my husband had to get back to his work abroad immediately after seven days of marriage. To say less, I was heart broken. Being this a love marriage, that too after being in long distance relationship, heart longed to be with him even more. Work is work, all he had to say. However, he stays in India with me for two weeks and spends two weeks abroad since marriage. You might think, It’s a good thing but ask me it’s not! The moment I accept the bitter reality of his absence in my life, he shows up at the door. Then when my heart gets acclimatized to his presence, it would be time for his next flight. So, I cribbed even more. Agitated. Angry. Frustrated. Lost. Tensed. Irritated. Marriage never looked so disastrous for me. Wherever I went, Whatever I did, be it alone or in public, his thoughts hovered me like a gawking eagle. I was shattered, slipping in to depression, pestering my husband about my VISA processing and crying profusely aloud trying to console myself, again and again; reading like never read before, eating like forever hungry and sleeping like a beast. But, nothing helped. I knew, I couldn’t spend 15 days in a month sobbing. Hence, I decided I need to try something that I will enjoy and so, blogging.
The first thing in the morning, not checking my mobile for husband’s messages, but emails for blog related notifications
When I am done with household chores, I don’t curl up on the bed crying, but opening my laptop, reading other’s blogs, appreciating how beautiful their writing is
I don’t crib about my husband being busy anymore but I crib about not being able to pen down the emotions in the right way (I have to crib, no matter what)
When in the shower or eating or doing any physical activity -which makes my mind wander in the vast imaginations of my husband-, I now try to assemble all my thoughts thinking, what would be my next topic or how I can write better or I have to increase my network and know more people
I often complained about having lots of free hours and now, I feel 24 hours is too less. There are still so many blogs and posts which are pending to read
Finally, when the day ends and when my husband calls, I tell him “I am a bit busy now. How about we catch up later?” and deep inside my heart beneath all the blood vessels, aorta, and ventricles, it beats a beat of satisfaction, for once being able to say the sentence which is my husband’s chant.
So, now you all must be knowing who is my second husband, who keeps me so busy all day that I barely get time for anything else. Finally, I am gathering hold of my senses and shoving up tears back to its native. I feel happy, calm, composed. I feel myself, all over again!