For me, headaches have always been fearful, dreadful experience. Once I was extremely sick and admitted in the hospital for days, yet I was happy, eating the free hospital food and watching tv without any restriction. But it’s always a big NO for headaches. Having suffered from Migraine for quite long now, headaches haunt me even in my dreams. No matter how many times I exhibit my displeasure for them, they disobey to leave me. Sometimes I wonder, do I still have space left in my body for pain killers? After several MRIs, several courses of medicines, several visits to the doctor I have come to a conclusion that these headaches are never going to leave me. They are mine, forever. And, they are like vacations. They come at a specified time for a specified duration, torture me day and night, even during sleep and then vanish, like I had never suffered before. So, this past one week was my headache-summer-vacation-camp time.
It felt like thousand MRI machines are scanning my head simultaneously (If you know the ear piercing sound of MRI testing), It felt like millions of dogs are barking in a battle field with guns firing, bombs blasting, It felt like woodpecker has mistaken my head for a log, It felt like tailor is sewing my head than a piece of cloth, It felt like diwali was blasting inside my head, It felt like life was so painful than death. Yes! these were my exact thoughts for a mere headache which everybody faces most of the days. I couldn’t bear it and I can’t bear it (I still have them) and I have strictly opted out of pain killers this time. Sleep, a good hot water bath, a cool breeze drive nothing is helping me out. Eyes are hiding unable to look at the laptop. Ears are shutting even at the sound of footsteps. And, mind is continuously reminding me “You have a headache. It’s increasing. How about a pain killer?”. When all these physical, psychological, emotional changes are vandalizing your identity, at least you expect people to understand that you are sick (why can’t people fall sick with headaches even that can strike at a higher intensity).
Nope, nobody understands and finally, when I explain it to them for half an hour amid the headache, all they can say is, “Oh! you have headache, That’s all? The way you were behaving we thought you have caught some serious disease”.
And I just murmur inside my aching head, “Yes, it’s just a headache but it pains like hell!”.
P.S – these headaches are keeping me away from my second husband. Hopefully I get well soon and come back with boom. Oh! That rhymed 🙂