I didn’t want to write about “Virginity”, may be I thought there was nothing to write about. But I have been constantly reading all the posts and sharing my views on it. There seemed a discrepancy, not in the thought process but with a title itself. hence, thought of sharing a few words.
What are we highlighting here? The title only spoke about women losing virginity being regarded as her character certificate but it’s not mentioned under what circumstances.
1. She could be a divorcee or a widow
2. She could have been raped
3. She could have been cheated by man/men in the name of love
4. She could have done it under the pretext of having fun
and so on..
So, multiple possibilities for one topic. Which category are we highlighting here? Considering the Indian mentality especially that of our elders, men do not like women who are touched by others. The moment a girl loses her virginity, she has been certified as impure and no man wants her after that. Yes, they all give a character certificate. Pretty much was being shown in bollywood movies as well, be it Ram teri ganga maili or aapka dil hamare paas hai. Rape, molestation is also not given a pass. These girls, didn’t even lodge complaint in police station fearing their image would be at stake. The first question would be, who would marry them??? It isn’t that they have been given special importance and men stand in queues to offer them a better life. I live in a town, not a village or a metro. The mentality here is mostly, middle class. And their attitude too. I have seen how divorced women are treated or how men use women to get them to bed only to dump them later. I call it rape by mental manipulation. It happens often here. And may be in your cities too.
Now coming to the 4th point. I believe India is a modern country yet our roots are firm in Indian culture. We believe in modernization but not crossing the level of decency. Losing virginity might not give a character certificate but if a woman or man is involved in one night stands or involved with multiple partners, then their entire attitude and mind set gives a character certificate. What was the necessity in involving such acts would arise as the first question?? May be they are too spoilt or may be they didn’t have the right up bringing or may be they are suffering from depression. Yes, if it is because of a genuine reason, then that has to be targeted and resolved and even they should be given a chance to lead a normal life. But if it is only for fun, that is their personal choice but they should ideally never lie or hide it before marriage. A person with their mentality will have no issues with it.
It is a modern world, girls are wearing mini skirts instead of saree doesn’t mean that they can walk around naked 🙂 There has to be a limit and there is. But an individual has to decide what they want to do. And yes, their character will be decided based on what they do or most importantly why they do.
(Whatever I have written applies both to men and women.. Just that, women can’t hide but men can)