He said “if you love me then why these boundaries. It is nature’s law to love emotionally and physically. Then why hide behind the unseen walls of culture and traditions. Just let yourself free and feel love”
She never understood him; his values, opinions and mindset which was way above her world. But that evening when he asked her to be his forever, breaking her value system, she let herself to be his bait. For her it was all in the name of love and what he hid beneath his innocent face was something her innocent mind couldn’t decipher. At least not then!!!
Four years later, she looked beautiful as a bride. Her red Kanjeevaram sari looked so elegant that her future husband by minutes, couldn’t take his eyes off her. Nobody could. But her eyes told a different tale altogether. She wasn’t marrying the man she was in love with few years earlier and her eyes couldn’t hide the loathe she carried for him. After having sex with her for few years, he disappeared in to thin air. She waited for him and hoped rather convinced herself he wasn’t a cheat. After all it was first love and true one, indeed.
Sadly, he never came back for her and she was forced in to marrying a man whom she never loved!!!
Her marriage was an event which everybody spoke about in her town. Lavish and extravagant!!! But nothing seemed to make her happy. A lost soul abiding the rules of society couldn’t ask for more, is what she thought. She needed a husband; ten years elder to her, orthodox and completely different in mentality was even manageable. But needed a husband desperately for her family and society. With a fake smile and a sad heart, she was married and bade farewell to her parents.
“Finally, at the age of 36 I am going to get some sex” he thought
“Oh god! I don’t want him touch me” she thought
But of course in this unspoken war, he won!!!
The next day morning he didn’t seem comfortable at all. The white linen cloth had no stains and this bothered him. “Why didn’t she bleed?”, “was she in to sports?”, “she is not a virgin?”, “is it possible for women to not bleed?”, “why didn’t it hurt her bad considering this was her first time?” questions were hammering his not-so-useful brain. He wanted to ask her directly but he couldn’t. After she woke up unable to control his emotions he blurted out all the thoughts in words at once.
“I am sorry. But I never wanted to hide it from you but couldn’t jeopardize the marriage. I am not a virgin. I was in love with a man who didn’t deserve it. He coaxed me in to having sex with him and I was so much blindly in love, I agreed. I slept with him whenever he felt horny and was dumped as a trash finally when done. I loved him no doubt and he used me. That’s all I can say. But trust me, I never did for the mere pleasure of it. I did it because I thought nothing meant more to me than his happiness. I am no slut. I hope you understand”
Her husband felt disgusted from inside. He had saved himself all his life for the special one and now he had got himself a second hand product. “How could she sleep with another man? And how dare she agree to her sinful act in front of me” he wondered. “Everybody has to be informed and there is no escape. She is filthy, whore and god knows with how many more men she has slept with. I can’t take this woman in my life” his heart cried out loud. Without thinking twice, he dragged her out of his room and stripped her naked in front of his entire family. She felt humiliated, embarrassed and cursed herself for letting herself loose. She thought she deserved every inch of hell he dug. She slowly walked inside it, losing her femininity, her womanhood, herself.
All that remained was a broken hymen!!!
This post is written as a part of IndiBlogger contest in association with Poonaam Uppal’s True Love – A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.