When we decided to shift to Kingdom of Saudi Arabia (KSA), believe me, we were scared like those infants trying to walk for the first time. We were scared of falling and getting hurt so bad that we would spend our lives mending this one mistake. Lots of voices were heard on our way till here – “Are you crazy? It is a very rigid country”, “There is no freedom for women”, “There is no life”, “People are beheaded there”, and worst one “king will remove your eyes if you look at other women”. And these voices grew louder by the day, and by night, we were hallucinating things and screaming in our dreams!!! Carrying this baggage of fear, we decided to face it once and for all. We wanted to know if it was really that bad, we wanted to know if we would sulk, we wanted to know if we would swim across without sinking, we wanted to experiment and push ourselves beyond own comfort level. And one fine day, we did it.
My first impression of KSA -mainly about the airport- was bad. It felt as if my life shifted from a colour movie to a black and white one!!! Everything seemed silent and slow and colourless. I hated it. I was almost in tears, wondering, why I had decided to question my capacity. I kept looking at my husband who was standing in a long immigration queue. I felt helpless that night. I wanted to run away to the most comfortable place on earth, my house back in Manipal. I cribbed and longed for that comfort, thirty minutes after landing in KSA. After immigration, we both came outside the airport only to feel the heat and see a deserted land. There was no greenery. There were no people outside. There was no honking, or noise. There was a calmness and being brought up in India, I detested that silence. That silence, once I boarded the car, slowly started choking me. I couldn’t breath and I looked at my husband unable to hide my emotions. He nodded, saying, everything will fall into place.
After about forty-five minute journey, I reached my house in KSA. The moment I walked in, I was in love with it. Though it wasn’t completely furnished it simply looked beautiful and it felt like home. My house and I was happy instantly!!! Let me rewind a bit – post marriage I lived in our parent’s house and never felt like home. It was always “their” house and not “mine”. So, this house in KSA gave me that feeling of belongingness. This house made me feel I can even survive in the land of KSA. This house made me smile that night.
The next day morning, I woke up with some extra enthusiasm. I cleaned the house, scrubbed the floor, went shopping and we bought furnitures for our home. We started decorating the house slowly, step by step and enjoyed every bit of it. That loneliness which was hovering me had completely vanished. This house made me feel that our decision of moving to KSA was not wrong. Our optimistic nature which was crushed under the voices and stingy airport, got a new life inside this house.
It’s been almost a year since we moved to this place. And our home is completely decorated. This is a home where I bid my husband “good bye” every morning and welcome him home with a smile every evening. This is a home which is filled with joy and happiness and a lot of fights!!! This is the home where I cook his favorites and this is the home where he pampers me with so much of love. And most importantly, this is the house where I started blogging.
Even today I wonder, if we would have ever sustained in KSA, if it hadn’t been for this house. Even today when people mock at me for shifting to KSA, I smile and say “wish you could visit me, I have such a beautiful house there”. This small area inside the four walls is my KSA, my heaven, my life. And the feeling I get when using the word “my”, simply can’t be expressed.
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